9:45 p.m. - 05/20/03
mine, mine, miiiiine.
A quiz over Mary's Tuesday. (Don't worry. Participation points only; no grade.)
This morning, following yesterday's string of involuntary naps and attempting to prepare for a visit with the superdoc, Mary -
a.) fell down the stairs
b.) overslept
c.) sang a stunning rendition of "Who Needs Sleep?"
d.) accidentally took the wrong meds, i.e. her nighttime meds, i.e. a double dose of sleeping pills.
e.) none of the above
For all those who answered d, give yourselves a soft pat on the back. For all those who answered something else, give yourself a soft hug. Coz I still love you. Question number two: After realizing what she had done, Mary -
a.) paced the room more than a bit frantically
b.) took her right meds
c.) lay down despite fearing she might go into a coma from med-overdosage
d.) cancelled her doc appointment
e.) all of the above
Would all those who answered e, first, quit spying on me during my morning routine and then give yourself a pat on the back *or* a soft hug, while those who answered something else find something fuzzy and trusted to comfort them. Remember, you were still right. You just weren't right about *everything.*
And now the lightning round. This is the final question so prepare yourself carefully. Ok. Mary's cancelled doctor appointment was -
a.) a huge mistake considering she stayed awake all day and flipped out majorally
b.) not a big deal since she has an appointment on Thursday
c.) replaced with a phone appointment
d.) stolen by her mother, who was already seeing the doctor on Wednesday
e.) initially b, and then d
E again! Wow, that was a tough one. And it's a testament to just how exhausted I am (at 9:55, Jeez Louise) that I can't even seem to write right now. This whole string of events majorally sucks. Well, maybe not entirely. I mean, it was bad to take the wrong pills. It was very good not to try and throw them up, which was my first instinct. It was very good to take the pills I'm supposed to take anyway. It was good to put my need for sleep (even before I added the meds to the equation) first, instead of going to the appointment absolutely-no-matter-what, the way I normally do. According to the doctor, it was not a dangerous mistake and good that I am getting the extra sleep. And I felt capable of cancelling, which means I felt capable of surviving without seeing him when I'd planned, which means I am doing quite a bit better (in at least one regard) than I was.
However, a few hours later, when I woke up for the second time (from the first nap), I was really sad that I didn't get to see him; I really wanted to talk. And having Mom come home and tell me what he said (why, why, why do I ask her these things?) was really not good. I always end up really mad at him after she tells me about an appointment, which doesn't make any sense, and sucks immensely because obviously, it's much easier to be mad at *her* and good with *him* - who I need quite a bit right now. Bah. Long story short, I didn't see him today, when I was supposed to, and that would have been ok because I have an appointment in less than 48 hours, except I still can't stand the fact that my parents see the same person I do. I wouldn't send them away - if they have any hope of surviving each other, it's because of the doctor - (though I haven't seen or heard from my dad since the two hours or so he was around on Thursday) ... but still. My entire non-electronic support system is currently collapsed into *one person* and that person is the Superdoc, and so they really need to keep their distance. I want to be able to at least pretend that they're not seeing him. And I really don't want to have to feel like they somehow have the power to take him away just because I chose one time not to see him...
Aigh. I just want him to be mine... I think it was easier to share in kindergarten. I was better at it then.
chord
p.s. I promise to be more articulate and less annoying when I've gotten sleep. In the meantime, read some of the past entries...the ones that show I have dimension, depth, and some actual *ability* to communicate. *sigh*
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