7:55 p.m. - 03/12/02
this funny ache...
Nothing too awful, so God knows why I feel that way. It's just one of those moments when I'm so convinced I'm blinking incorrectly that I decide the best alternative would be to rip my eyelids off, pull out my teeth, and scratch my retnas with them. I thought about calling red but I'm so beyond tired, I can't make myself do it. Well, that and I can't make myself speak. I don't know what's happening to me except that I really want to be the best person in the entire fucking American junior class, and I'm not, so I want to die, because God forbid I get a B on a test.
In truth, therapy has just gotten too difficult and in order to avoid (oh, what's it called) "feeling" I'm obsessing about algebra tests and English papers...
I have too many memories. Vivid like dreams. One moment I'm at red when it was good, and one moment I'm at red before it was, and one moment I'm locked in a closet with a girl who's saying things that simply should not be spoken between nine-year-olds...
I know I'm being incoherent, so I'm leaving. I think I'll go to sleep and take tomorrow off...
Maybe my head will spin off its axis and we can all rest easily again...
chord
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