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9:45 p.m. - 12/12/03
the earth has no corners and my map is square.
give love to heather. jenna. shannon. beth. me.

oh, hell, just break the bank and give it freely. love like it can make the difference because hopelessness is killing. here I am, entirely lost. allow me to pinpoint my location, once I know it, and tell me - then, will someone show up with the secret reason all of this goes on? chelsea said once that she liked to watch lifetime movies because they made her feel less alone; they made her feel like she wasn't the only one having to bear such extensive, impossible pain. there aren't many people in my life who know (securely) how to deal with pain; (there are many who are learning and quite a few who are letting it consume them.) I'm not used to seeing people deal with it; I'm not sure how to do so, and although I know I'm supposed to live, I don't know why this life is mine. if there's a reason, I want to know it. if there isn't a reason, what question comes next?

sara. and me. and godd, just everyone.

c.

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