11:55 p.m. - 10/10/02
so little sleep /\ so many words --
Before I even go into where I was tonight, I have to mention that I came home to five messages in my inbox: from Silje, Shannon, Katie, and Mandy. Yes. I don't think many things are more glorious than that. I just about bounced my heart out of my mouth.
I'm absolutely exhausted, and I don't know how to even begin to go into this, so let me just say, for the sake of remembering, that tomorrow I *will* tell you about the post-show dichotomy between Justin and Shane, the gloriousness of seeing Brooke and Chas, the little points along the way filled with people like Tim (who I remember now), John-Allen, Girl-Who-Played-Alice, and another person I think might be named Alex, but can't be called as much because he's not the Alex of the last entry, and I don't want to incorrectly make them similar. I will talk tomorrow about being Chiara's sister, and holding Rachel's hand, and how they fucking blew the roof off the house, and got a standing ovation, no matter what crazy feelings I had during the course of it. I'll talk about how Marybeth came, and what they meant, and how hard she's cried, and how tomorrow there will be more people in the theater and afterward a party for cast-plus. I'll mention how Ben exchanged e-mail addresses with me because he wants to direct more experimental work, how my pants are cooler than my play, and how he wears shirts with penguins. I'll talk about Courtney and my parents and never wanting to go to college/ never wanting to leave it. I'll talk about what it's like that happiness is never purely happiness, even when anxiety and depression keep their distance. How much that keeps me off guard.
But tonight, I really really want to go to bed. Ok?
love- chord
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