10:07 p.m. - 05/05/03
* we'll keep you close, as always. *
I grew up (or down, or inward) very much alone in some ways. I grew sick (and more sick, and sicker still) with very little attention paid, to me or to my illness. I mastered self-sufficiency by believing I deserved nothing and no one; I used that justification to explain my situation: the Alone. and it's going to take me precious, blessed time to realize that I don't have to live alone, that I am not an army of one, that I do not have to carry the world on my shoulders. it's going to take me time to realize that I have the entire universe supporting me, and it's ok to loosen those muscles and relax that breath a bit. it's going to take blessed, precious time, but I will learn this. I will learn better than I was taught before.
and maybe then, the helplessness will lessen into bearable...
chord
�
�
