11:05 p.m. - 02/18/03
:any day now: () my ship will finally come in..
This is just me saying I'm sorry for the last entry. When I began it, I intended to mark it as private, so my discretionary tendencies might have been a bit lax. I'm proud of myself for saying what I needed to, of course, and I understand that this is an online *journal* and I have the right to choose its content- but I also feel compelled to at least offer some warning when an entry has a spin like that one. Maybe it's a misplaced protective urge, or maybe it's just what you do with people that you love...
As for me, I'm still ravenous with need. But for the first time in my life, I know that need is for myself. And there's something seriously liberating about that. I never believed what "they" had to say about being your own best friend, looking after yourself, finding the love you sought without within, etc. I guess I've fallen for that ideology after all. And I'm happier for it. I've done a lot of craving in my life and craving me...well, it's the only one to have a certain satisfaction all its own.
Not that this will keep me from actually pursuing it. Tears, consistent meals, and (perhaps a bit too much?) mindless schoolwork have helped pacify my post a bit. I think there's a lighthouse starting to distinguish itself from all those lovely stars.
And thanks. To those of you who thought or wrote on my behalf. Thanks always...
Any day now/ my ship will finally come in...
chord
*Bif Naked
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