8:45 p.m. - 01/28/03
if I hear one more time about a fool's right to his tools of rage.!
I really did try. After all, I really do want to be an informed citizen. But honestly, I only made it thirty minutes into the Address. (Or as Shannon calls it "How the Republican Congress people get their workout." Jesus. I let myself watch it somewhat separately from the part of me that hates George Bush. For thirty minutes, I listened to his words with as little bias as I could muster, not- in my estimation- jumping to the same liberal upsets as my mom. "He'll do that, but not this; he'll only go so far." My problem was just whether or not what he was doing was ok. For instance, cars that work on hydrogen (it's only three syllables, Georgy, you can do it!) and don't pollute the air? Sounds good. Mentoring programs and community service supported by the government? Also sounds good. So long as it's not just a cheap ploy for you to fund religious- I mean Christian- organizations. Wait. Do you just mention your faith-based initiative? Shit. So much for "as long as it's not."
Here's what doesn't sound good to me. Revenge. Nuclear. War. Nepotism. Sexism. General-political-conservative-fucked-upped-ness. Jesus, I wish there had been a mike on Hilary Clinton when she was commenting on the proceedings to Lieberman. Aigh. But honestly, it quit being about war for me. It quit being about Iraq and North Korea, and honestly- became about me. About Tracy. About healthcare, damnit, healthcare. Why is he only talking about Medicare? Last I checked, my adolescent friends are also having strokes and heart attacks. Why is he only concerned with drug addicts (and drug addicts who received "miracles" from "God"- no less) when there are so many forms of illness? When the mental illness with the highest mortality rate is the fucking eating disorder? Yes, I have a bias. Everyone has a bias. Everyone deserves care. Let the people who have reason to scream for care from every angle (I've got mine) and let's get it fucking fixed. I want the money there. I want it there and I want it now. I want my friends and my enemies to be able to go residential *before* they're dying from an eating disorder. I want the cheapest facility in the United States to not be 400 dollars a day. I want to have some confirmation that millions of individuals are not going to go through what I went through the day Tracy died, or what I went through trying to get into Rogers. I want some fucking proof.
I am so not patriotic right now. I am so completely ranting. I swear to God, I'll move to Canada. As my brother says, "At least there when things are shit, you can have some legal weed." And I don't buy into that either, but I'm honestly desperate right now. I'm so angry! What is this fucking rhetoric and propaganda? "Fix healthcare. Fix the environment. Fix terrorism. Fix taxes." Clap, clap, clap. Yes, and now, since this is an actual state of the union address and not a little game you're playing as a seven-year-old, could you maybe back that up with a plan? Oh, you're just going to throw some money (wait- billions?!) of dollars at it? Well, that's as good as a plan, I guess. Jesus. Every time I look into his eyes when they clap, I hear voices in his head saying, "They're buyin' it! Thank ya, Lord, they're buyin' it!" And I know I'm offending people, but God it's offensive to be patronized by your own political system, while your mother tries to placate you like a four-year-old.
This is absolute insanity. I really wish NASA hadn't screwed up the whole Mars-deal. Because I'm honestly shopping around for a new planet. I'm not ready to be blown up quite yet. And I'm not ready to watch my friends die just the same in six billion dollar healthcare systems. The presidency is not a birthright. And my fucking life is not something he gets to spend.
chord
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